Enough!

Oh why should I sigh at another’s jubilance?
Why should I weep as they break into song?
Dancing on their merry way,
Holding hands on this blessed day,
While my heart is torn in shreds again.

Oh God, set me free.
May this terrible tearing rip me from my shackles!
May I live to see You and stop focusing on fables!

I do not deny I’ve been blind.
I do not deny I’ve been tied down in so many ways
When I thought this season my ties would break…

Oh, miserable, wretched man that I am!
To push and sway to get my way,
When the getting’s already been taken!
To love and lose and try to choose
A good path,
But at long last,
I’m defeated.

But I know You will brighten defeat,
Though it gnaws at my teeth
And grimaces the grin I once wore.
Though sour is the taste, I know Your sweet grace
Goes above the raging fountains I ignore.
…Try to ignore.

I wanted to be free –
Here’s my freedom, plain and pure!
Though ugly is the day,
Painted black with deepest stains,
I’ll tread on, though falling is the theme.

Oh God, will You be alone with me?

I don’t want to see those dark faces,
Smiling in their happy places,
Grinning in a winning kind of way…
It makes me wish my soul the better –
To have what is not mine to tether;
To wish upon a star that never shines.

Make my heart ache with intenesest groanings
So that after I despise my loathings
I’ll come out on the other side anew,
No longer controlled by ill-placed desires
That rage within me and exhaustedly tire
My body wracked in sorrows on the floor.
…Striving for more.

I don’t want to want more, God.
I don’t want to need love.
I just want to hear from You, God,
And know that You’re enough.

Oh, tame this lion heart, God!
Make me a humble child of Yours.
Give me wholly to Your purpose.
Help me to love when loving hurts.

And God, this hurts.

Who can I talk to?
I have no one but You.
Who can I run to?
You pick me up in Your arms.
…Revive my broken heart!

I don’t want to want more, God.
I don’t want to need love.
I just want to hear from You, God,
And know that You’re enough.

Oh, please, be enough.
Let the clamoring voices in silence fall as You speak:

“Enough!”

Advertisements

Hope Shimmers Like The Sea

My soul cries out in joy to my God,
The deliverer of my soul
And the provider of all my soul’s longings!

‘Tis a day of blessed peace!
‘Tis a day of achieving goals
That souls like mine don’t often dream of achieving.

I’ve set a course, and God puts me to task.
I climb aboard, we raise the mast,
And off we sail the wide open seas!
Who knows what God has in store for me?

It’s a joy to think about!
And it’s a joy to live!
For too long I’ve been tied down by ropes
That dashes all my hopes,
Leaving me tripping and carelessly falling to my end.

I’d tried to say I was okay –
I tried to remain strong –
But really, my efforts were far short
And altogether wrong.

I shudder to think of the days I was bound –
Bound by my sin,
Bound by simple laziness,
Bound by fear of the unknown –

But now I am known by the One
Who knows me inside-out and backwards.
I’m aboard His ship,
And we are sailing forwards!

There’s no use in looking back
When the past will only haunt you.
It’s eyes to the horizon,
Where my hope is deep and blue.

Ooh! To know You, God.
Wow. It leaves me in awe.
You take the worst in me,
And somehow You make it strong!

I guess that way there’s no question
Who’s the one to blame.
So, all my days I will praise You
And give credit to Your Name.