An Overturned Lantern

A lit candle atop an overturned lantern,
The lantern smashed; its dim light was grimly seen
A broken pattern, my hope’s been aptly shattered,
But still a dying candle illuminates the unlit scene

I see it now, my life’s been completely reborn
The fading embers aren’t remembered when they hit the floor
I watched with eyes wide, my mind’s in a hollow disgust
It looks like all my past intentions passed me when they bit the dust

Oh! A mouth full of blasphemous sand!
I thought that chewing on the memories would lead me to the promised land
But that was just a mirage; now I’m dying of thirst
God, You gotta come and fill me up ’til I’m tot’lly submersed.

And send a curse to the lies that I keep believin’!
Snip the strings that Satan’s got me on to do his biddin’,
Pullin’ me all over, ’til I’m dizzy, unsure of everything that I really ought to live for
I try to take a breath, but I haven’t found a cure

I pass out atop the stairs
If I’m fallin’, I am unaware
The voices tell me that I should be scared
If I’m fallin’, I am unaware

It’s a moment where I need to trust
Forget the life of only “us”
Your voice tells me that I must
Forget the life of only “us”

Enough!

Oh why should I sigh at another’s jubilance?
Why should I weep as they break into song?
Dancing on their merry way,
Holding hands on this blessed day,
While my heart is torn in shreds again.

Oh God, set me free.
May this terrible tearing rip me from my shackles!
May I live to see You and stop focusing on fables!

I do not deny I’ve been blind.
I do not deny I’ve been tied down in so many ways
When I thought this season my ties would break…

Oh, miserable, wretched man that I am!
To push and sway to get my way,
When the getting’s already been taken!
To love and lose and try to choose
A good path,
But at long last,
I’m defeated.

But I know You will brighten defeat,
Though it gnaws at my teeth
And grimaces the grin I once wore.
Though sour is the taste, I know Your sweet grace
Goes above the raging fountains I ignore.
…Try to ignore.

I wanted to be free –
Here’s my freedom, plain and pure!
Though ugly is the day,
Painted black with deepest stains,
I’ll tread on, though falling is the theme.

Oh God, will You be alone with me?

I don’t want to see those dark faces,
Smiling in their happy places,
Grinning in a winning kind of way…
It makes me wish my soul the better –
To have what is not mine to tether;
To wish upon a star that never shines.

Make my heart ache with intenesest groanings
So that after I despise my loathings
I’ll come out on the other side anew,
No longer controlled by ill-placed desires
That rage within me and exhaustedly tire
My body wracked in sorrows on the floor.
…Striving for more.

I don’t want to want more, God.
I don’t want to need love.
I just want to hear from You, God,
And know that You’re enough.

Oh, tame this lion heart, God!
Make me a humble child of Yours.
Give me wholly to Your purpose.
Help me to love when loving hurts.

And God, this hurts.

Who can I talk to?
I have no one but You.
Who can I run to?
You pick me up in Your arms.
…Revive my broken heart!

I don’t want to want more, God.
I don’t want to need love.
I just want to hear from You, God,
And know that You’re enough.

Oh, please, be enough.
Let the clamoring voices in silence fall as You speak:

“Enough!”

A Simple Bedtime Poem

In the interest of time,
I will close my eyes
And drift off to sleep
To awake peacefully

And in the morning
I’ll smile at the glory
Of God’s love so grand
And His spectacular plan

I’ll exercise
And focus my eyes
On good things
And on worry-free wings
I’ll fly

And God will show me His grace
And lead me to the best place
He’ll help me to grow,
Teach me all I need to know

So when I sleep again
With a deep breath I’ll take in
The good memories of the day
How God was with me all the way

Sadness, cutting sadness

Sadness, cutting sadness
To see the people around me
Hurting so very deeply

Madness, utter madness
To look for pleasure in things
That only prove temporary

Oh why this restlessness in the soul?
Why the striking down of towering hope?
Why the weeping, wailing, endless groan?

Savages, mindless savages!
That’s what we are
As we tear apart each other

Friendship, blessed friendship!
Can we return to this
And learn to love our brother?

Oh why do we hide behind happy faces?
Why the secrecy that hinders flowing graces?
Why do we think we can just make excuses?

It’s not enough.
It’s never been enough.

If we want real life,
We must come to the light
And be exposed
For who we really are,
All broken apart.

Pieces, shattered pieces
God can pick us up
And put us back together

Faithful, ever faithful
Nothing’s greater than
The Savior and His love

Oh what grace has been given at the cross!
What blessings freely bestowed at great cost!
What part can I play to save a world that is lost?

Hopeless, desperately hopeless
You’ve called to me
To go and reach these weary souls

Savior, gentle Savior
Lead me on
As I follow You… home