Somehow – the end of my freshman year

As my second semester of college is wrapping up and I’m approaching the end of my freshman year, I can’t help but see God’s hand. Deadlines come, yet somehow deadlines go and my work is complete – especially wonderfully complete! – striking me with great joy and amazement. God has me on the edge. I don’t know if He put me there or if I put myself there (or if perhaps He put me there through my actions), but it’s both a scary and a special place to be. When you have four hours to write a 10-12 minute speech and don’t quite know where to begin, well, I don’t know about you, but I tend to freak out. (Heh, I’ve done a lot of that this schoolyear…) But somehow… SOMEHOW beyond my control, God shows up and helps me to meet the deadline, to produce great work, to have determination, to not completely drain myself, and to have time for Him and for others.

What’s the secret? Hah, only God knows! All my part is trying to seek Him above all else (yes, failing miserably at times) and asking Him to help me. I pour out my heart to Him, essentially saying, “You know what, God, I’m at a complete loss and this looks entirely hopeless. I ain’t got a clue how this mess is supposed to fit together, but I want to do well – for You, for my family (they’re paying for my schooling after all), for myself (yeah, yeah, maybe selfish, but I’m just being honest), for my teacher, and for whoever else this will impact. I don’t have much to work with (and maybe You can help me to get started sooner next time) but I want You to help me make the best out of what I have. Thanks!”

And somehow (I still don’t get it) God works in me!

It’s that mystic hand that works outside of all we can conceive.
It’s divine intervention into the affairs of man.
It’s something we cannot hope to control yet believe,
Because time’s Author isn’t lost in time’s sands

And the wingspan of His soaring love
Engulfs us in a feathered embrace
That races toward us, is ever before us,
And stops the clock of our knowledge base –

A knowledge once based in a false aspiration
Leading us only to certain damnation
But now firmly founded in a faceless Relation
Who ceases the madness

3 thoughts on “Somehow – the end of my freshman year

  1. Good for you, Ryan!!!! You are in the right way…Keep on keeping on!! God is going to do great and wonderful and beautiful things through you. I am sure of that. :D

    God is blessing you richly, my amazing friend!!


  2. Ryan, I’m so proud of what you accomplished this year. Keep up the good work, and see how God will use and bless you. I agree with Hannah, God has great things in store for you. Just be His humble servant as you have done in the past, and He will be the one to lift you up.

  3. Thanks, Hannah!! I’ll certainly keep pressing on, as God enables me. =) You keep strong, too, Hannah! Keep your eyes fixed on our mighty Jesus and High King. He’s stronger and wiser that we can see or know. His intervening hand is writing out a story that can only end in ceaseless praise to His name. =D I’m sure God will do wonderfully blessed things through you, as well, my sweet friend!! He already is. =)

    Thank you, Mom! =) You are such a grand support to me. Being humble has gotta be at least half of the battle. Just like those Israelites who, when God blessed them abundantly, turned their back on Him, built their own idols and said, “These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt!” (Exodus 32:8b) So, too, it is hard to think that I haven’t done anything to deserve the blessing of God. But that’s why it’s called grace!! Thanks for your prayers and words of wisdom and comfort. =) They mean a lot to me.

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