A Bloody Discourse

Oh God, where are the poems of my heart?
Where the life-flow streaming out of my arteries from my core
Like the teeming rivers branching from one central source,
Rushing over rocks and logs to the distant, infinite shore?
How I wish I knew how to speak of You more!

Each song is a blood cell.
It carries with it my life.
It tells of my identity.
It cheers my night.
It swims through the vast plasma veins,
Running through tunnels like a torrential rain
Yet suddenly halts when it encounters a foe,
A blistery barrier, bludgeoning all who would go.
A fierce resistance.
What of this?
It’s a fear of being heard,
A doubt of what is seen,
A paralyzing bird,
A haunting, hellish dream.

And keenly, keenly,
It gainsayingly says sayings,
Saying that suffering suffers
An underestimated weight of pain:

“For pain is fierce, of course!
And much to be dread!
It’ll knock you down,
Sweep you up,
Bash you ’round
And fill your cup
With sorrows inexplainable in the longest discourse,
Leaving you to summon your mates to bury you dead.
And that much before your time should come!”

Oh to be undone!
To be ridden of the wrappings that tie my heart in knots!
To be steadily certain of every whimsical thing that passes by my soul!
That cell of a song would be fit to run free,
No trappings present, no passageways squeezed.
My thoughts would pour now
Like beads spilling out
From a furiously overturned bowl.
What a goal!
To know,
To surely know
That all is well with the world;
That all is well with my soul.

Where again are the streaming songs,
Pouring in overflow to know Your name?
They are flowing, ever flowing,
Flowing from a Heaven-winded vein;
Flowing because of my infused identity –
You in me.
Your heart was transplanted into mine;
Ever residing in my being, You’re the source of my life.
As a painter’s painting painted with colors unbought,
But rather given to him by another,
So are my songs to You.
You provided the paints, now my work is wrought
For my mysterious Lover
Your love that came to me much like mine goes out from You,
A song of blood,
A poem of love,
Unrestrained, heart-sent.
What will we do?

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To the Divinely Delightful One

God, Your Word is so awesome.
It is divinely delightful, as You are.
It makes my heart sing
And lightens the burdens I have felt.
It draws me in and won’t let me go,
For my heart knows that only You satisfy.
Your every word is flawless and tastes so sweet,
Satisfying me more than my food
And quenching my spirit more than my drink ever could.

I love You and am solely impressed by Your love.
My relations in this world cannot compare
To the greatness I have found in You.
May Your name be praised in the loudest voice!
May every eye see the vast immensity of Your blinding glory,
Falling on their knees in awe and fear.
May I, too, join them on my face,
Silently pleading before You
For strength for the coming day,
For love to give and show to others.

O God, bless my tongue to taste Your name
And ever for it there to dwell.
How can I speak of another
When my eyes have seen You?
As Job said,
“I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,
But now my eye sees you;
Therefore I despise myself,
And repent in dust and ashes.”
– Job 42:5-6

Be It Unto Me

I figured out I can also post videos, so I’ll probably start doing more of this. This is a new song I wrote 8 days ago. Ironically, just like last semester, I wrote a song the first week of the semester.