The Earth Spins No More

Waiting, waiting, waiting is mine,
My fate for a moment or two.
Time, time, time is sublime,
Yet it infuses all that we do.

We cannot escape it, never replace it,
Saying its powers are through.
No, it hovers above us, dwells here among us,
Impregnates our world with its views.

Viewing now, a new horizon,
Rising from the vast expanse.
Here for a moment am I,
Here at a crossroads I stand.

A chance to begin again,
Like rain falling on a thirsty ground,
Renewed after the summer’s drought,
Suddenly my eyes are open from the dead.

The sunrise upon a mountaintop.
The beauty of Your majestic face,
The sweetness of a lover’s embrace,
Splendors causing my heart to stop.

Ecstasy.

One…
Two…
Three…

Count the seconds pass;
Snatch the moments before they vanish.
Grasp them in your hands and never let them go,
As the world’s spin ’round its axis
Finally ceases
For a moment or two.
All the world, and all my heart, at a stop.

And stopping here, You step in,
And my world starts to begin…

Eccentric

I pride myself in being different.
Some people just don’t understand.
They want me to fit in;
They want some kind of “norm,”
Some kind of control.

But my world is eccentric;
My world is a circle off kilter,
A strange squiggle squiggled
On a crumpled piece of silk and metal,
A bird of unproportionate size they tried
To remain caged but failed.

This mystical falcon has flown
Far higher than foreseen,
Far above the safety of society.

Where else could I find my life?
Where else could my wings unfold in majestic beauty?

If I must fly to the realms outside our atmosphere
For my colors to vibrantly come into view,
Then out I will go
And let my breath be taken away
That a new life may awaken within my soul;
That the blackness of my being
May force with all its emptiness
The Spirit of God to fill the void,
Drawn like a vacuum to seal the hole.

But why wait for the day
When the triumph is now?
Why in silent complacence linger
When joy like the sun is beaming down?

I’m off this world’s circle;
May I be steady on Yours,
Flying eccentrically, living beautifully,
Finding myself mysteriously seated
Among the children of God -
One among them, and God among us -
A royal family ornately displayed
As a peculiar treasure in a dark world -
But only dark for so long.

So long! Farewell!
Say goodbye to the dark world.
It is only dark for so long
Before the longing of God is brought to fulfillment
And He strip away the strife of our torment
And on in merriment we ride,
Our ceaseless toils put aside,
Ever and evermore to abide
By the Light of His face,
The matchless grace
That amazes the human race,
Entrenched in transforming rays
That put our transient troubles to rest.

Now resting, assured
In the truth of His Word
We stand.
Standing, but not in the least without sand -
The sands that sink us, inexorably link us
To the pains of this dark, sinister world;
But when the sands are refined as a pearl,
We find there’s a stone as a firm foundation -
The only God, the only salvation -
Ever to help us, never abandon
Because of His love that serves to command an
Army of angels, a legion above
And even our hearts if we sever our tongues -
Our boastful spirits that ever wreak havoc
In a world where havoc is never more needed,
No, never more wanted,
For wantonness ever walks in the wake
Of this fading, failing world so haunted.

Let me thus break my ties with this world -
Here in passing but not in belonging -
For my heart has a desperate longing
For a homeland my eyes cannot yet see.
Yes, let me disown this world,
Break out of its norms and society’s circle,
My feathers ruffled and wings unfurled
To soar outside the limits and give
A manifest look at a life off key;
Let me escape the ways and pace of this place
And live
Eccentrically.

A Poem To My Father – from February 26th

Found a really nice poemy thing from February 26th in my journal… Not all of it is necessarily how I feel right now, but it’s good thoughts, and I just really enjoyed reading it. =)

—

Dear Father,

You are lovely,
beyond what I can say,
beyond what I can know

You establish my ways
and prepare my path before me

You live in splendor;
my eyes would shudder to see Your face
Yet You do not boast Your position;
You made Yourself nothing for me

Every day You set the world in motion,
in beauty, in love

You are the Father of love
and it’s only pure author

Your thoughts alone can bend time and space,
and Your words part the seas

The sparkle in Your eyes sets my feet in motion;
the dance of my days goes on for Your praise

Every touch, every beautiful thing,
each kind word, every pleasure
has its origin in You
and are but mockeries of Your Divine satisfaction

When my foot falters on the path,
You take my hand and raise me high,
lifting me up on Your shoulders to ride

I wonder, Father, if You hear me at times -
not in actuality but in practicality
For I live in wretchedness many days;
yet why should I forsake my life?

You have made my days beautiful
so that the joys are colors of light hues,
and the tempestuous troubles are darker variations,
all masterfully painted as a portrait of my existence,
hung upon the wall of Your throne room,
for I am precious in Your sight

May You be so precious in my sight!

You have certainly heard my prayers;
You weigh my requests
and give Your good gifts when all is ready

You hear my groanings and words of bitter sorrow;
You put Your hand gently upon my shoulder
and weep with me in a vacant room

You listen to me when I plead with You
for the life of my friends,
for the soul of my own sister

Am I a hymn-writer, O God?
Father, look at how You have fashioned Your son!
My pen writes in ink now -
in a school in Grand Rapids, MI,
on a pen from Nashville, Tennessee

I wish I could say my eyes never leave You,
but my heart wanders fast.
I wish I could say this world didn’t phase me,
but it often has me in its subtle grasp

Why should the created thing
captivate my heart
and refocus my eyes
away from its very Creator?

Am I simply a distractable child,
never satisfied with one thing
but always moving on to new excitement?

Father, help me to see all the excitement in You;
hold my heart close to Yours;
let us sit together and talk beside the fireplace

I am ever Yours;
may it be lived out
in my heart
and in my life

Your son,

Ryan Vegh

The Writer – my Sophie’s World project

I finished this song for a philosophy project at school. I had been wanting to finish it for a while, but never really found enough motivation or direction. Well now I had both! I was to make something based off of the book, Sophie’s World. I think it turned out pretty neat. Still could use some polishing and practice, but it was fun experimenting with some progressive ideas in the structure of the song and such. Enjoy!!

(If you want to check out the lyrics, go to the actual YouTube video page…)

What does Easter mean?

Easter. That word conjures up so many things in people’s minds, ranging from Easter eggs and bunnies with all the fun and candy, to fellowship and good times with family and friends. But! (and what a big but!) the biggest thing Easter can ever mean to me is that this is the day especially marked in the year to remember my Savior’s blessed resurrection. It was the final step in bringing salvation to our wretched, helpless souls. And now I must say – oh please, hear me out! – if you have not let God into your life, or if you are not sure, let me tell you of the most blessed meaning of Easter!!

In the beginning, God made us,
In the garden, we betrayed God.

We (through Adam and Eve, the first humans) did the only thing He told us not to do – eat of the tree in the middle of the garden. WHY? We wanted to be like God:

mutiny

Our disobedience caused death.
Our selfishness brought sin.

…for sin is anything opposed to God’s perfection. And no imperfect sinner can stand in the presence of a perfect God. That’s why Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden.

All of our sins must then be punished,
But God is a God of both love and of justice.

The just condemnation of sin is death. We deserved to die because of our sins. God’s standard was perfection, and we completely blew it! As a righteous Judge, God had to punish us. Yet God is also so incredibly loving…

So in love He came,
As His Son, Jesus Christ,
The only One to live
A sinless, spotless life.

And though He should have been crowned
With splendor and might,
He took our shame
And stooped down to our plight

So that God could strike Him
And then proclaim,
“Justice has been served!
The debt has been paid!”

So dying for us this Jesus died -
God Himself, yet to man fully tied -
One acquainted with grief and to sorrows well-known,
But on that blessed third day He arose!

Now crowned with splendor,
Now seated on high,
Highly exalted,
Though highly despised.

And with eyes fixed on you,
He calmly cries,

“How I love you!
See it in my hands!
They nailed me to the cross,
But it was part of my plan!

“I saw you from afar -
You were near to my heart -
But you couldn’t come to me
Unless I did my part.

“So I parted with glory,
Became just like you.
I was spat upon,
I was beaten and bruised;

“But it was all worth it
(I tell you the truth!)
It was all worth it -

“I DID IT FOR YOU.”

If you have not received God’s gift of salvation that He offers you because of His great love, I tell you, it’s as easy as trusting Him. He says, “I paid for your debt! Now trust me.” You must simply have faith in God; it’s not about how good you’ve been or if you’ve grown up in a Christian home; it’s not about if you’ve been baptized or involved in community service. All your good works can never sweep away the fact that you stand before God’s throne of judgment as a guilty sinner – an imperfect man before an all-perfect God – and your just condemnation is for you to be swept into the flames of hell.

But God as Jesus Christ died in your place to pay the debt you owed (He took your sins upon Himself), and then He rose again in order to prove He was God and offer you a new, everlasting life. If you’ll trust Him with your life and eternal destiny today, on the basis of His death and resurrection and not any works on your part, then He will grant you the precious gift of salvation, with new life both now and later in Heaven!

If you’ve chosen today to trust Jesus for your salvation, I am so intensely happy for you!! “What now?” you may ask. Well, why don’t you thank God for the gift you’ve just received from Him? Just pray to Him – talk with Him. It could be as simple as “Thank You, God, for dying and rising again for me, an unworthy sinner.” There are no key words in prayer – God’s your friend now; open your heart to Him, and I believe He will open His to you. Also, it would probably be a good idea to get a Bible (if you don’t have one) and start reading it, and also to find and start attending a good, Bible-believing church. God will help you out, don’t worry! After all, now His own Holy Spirit resides in you – to help you, guide you, and comfort you.

Many blessings to you, and happy Resurrection Sunday!! Praise God that Jesus Christ died and rose again!! =D It’s a cause worthy of celebration. And it’s the only meaning of Easter that ultimately satisfies me. =)

Somehow – the end of my freshman year

As my second semester of college is wrapping up and I’m approaching the end of my freshman year, I can’t help but see God’s hand. Deadlines come, yet somehow deadlines go and my work is complete – especially wonderfully complete! – striking me with great joy and amazement. God has me on the edge. I don’t know if He put me there or if I put myself there (or if perhaps He put me there through my actions), but it’s both a scary and a special place to be. When you have four hours to write a 10-12 minute speech and don’t quite know where to begin, well, I don’t know about you, but I tend to freak out. (Heh, I’ve done a lot of that this schoolyear…) But somehow… SOMEHOW beyond my control, God shows up and helps me to meet the deadline, to produce great work, to have determination, to not completely drain myself, and to have time for Him and for others.

What’s the secret? Hah, only God knows! All my part is trying to seek Him above all else (yes, failing miserably at times) and asking Him to help me. I pour out my heart to Him, essentially saying, “You know what, God, I’m at a complete loss and this looks entirely hopeless. I ain’t got a clue how this mess is supposed to fit together, but I want to do well – for You, for my family (they’re paying for my schooling after all), for myself (yeah, yeah, maybe selfish, but I’m just being honest), for my teacher, and for whoever else this will impact. I don’t have much to work with (and maybe You can help me to get started sooner next time) but I want You to help me make the best out of what I have. Thanks!”

And somehow (I still don’t get it) God works in me!

It’s that mystic hand that works outside of all we can conceive.
It’s divine intervention into the affairs of man.
It’s something we cannot hope to control yet believe,
Because time’s Author isn’t lost in time’s sands

And the wingspan of His soaring love
Engulfs us in a feathered embrace
That races toward us, is ever before us,
And stops the clock of our knowledge base -

A knowledge once based in a false aspiration
Leading us only to certain damnation
But now firmly founded in a faceless Relation
Who ceases the madness
Somehow

A Fusion of Terror and Excitement

This poem is from March 12th (a few days ago), but I’m just now getting around to posting it.

——

I’ve got to leave the past behind,
Look fear right in the eyes,      and say…

This is terror,
But this is excitement.

This is insanity,
But this is the only thing that makes sense.

I’m at my rope’s end,
But that’s where I find a new beginning.

One last chance to ski down that slope,
One last chance for a new hope –

The one I’d always seen,
The one I’d always dreamed of.

A tale that’s more than make-believe,
A tale of an unshattered love.

God help my shrieking soul.

The Towering Flower and the Gardener Divine

A towering flower, like a tree in beauty but emanating strangeness -
A gaseous expanse of green and black, with purple hues.
Vines sprung from that hulky shoot,
Springing like ringing bells proclaiming a claim on the territory of the land.
God’s sovereign hand handled that plant – a careful garden-tender,
Tenderly effecting affection from its leaves to its rooty depths and meaty core.

Boring was never the word of life,
For the birds of strife pecked and bit, flapped and hit,
Hinting at the fragility of the flower.
But showers were glinting, nourishing despite the birds’ agility,
And happily the roots crept out their crawling claws,
Sprawling and clawing up for themselves the life-giving fluid with hottest pursuit.

Renewed, the plant’s vines sprang into action,
A million ropes flying in every direction,
Attacking and defending against the feathery onslaught.
And just at the point when weakness was fraught,
Strength was frothier and hope so bold,
Nobly to fight in the heat of the cold.
And coldness ceased to be,
Being borne out by the sun’s divine rays -
Divine by nature of that Divinity
Which without delay commanded them to be.

Yet victory one day did not change the past.
And the past did not help the present bent of toil,
Nor sway uncertainties of what was to come.
Interlocking logs of torment,
Burrowing deep into the vast earthen soil -
That’s what the towering flower’s roots had become -
A cumbersome, burdensome, somber reminder
Of the plant’s persistent requirement of food.
What time was there to eat?
What time to rest from the pressures
Poundingly surging, endlessly burning away
Every ebbing ounce of life from the frail flower’s heart?

Yet it was this draining of the heart – a directed release -
That the Gardener desired – that excellent Divinity.
It was every sporadic cell,
Squirming and coursing the flower’s massive hull,
That He desperately wanted to have for Himself -
And He solely.

So He started a mission,
A vision of change,
Inciting a failure
And thickening pain,
That pain may prove sensible,
Stirring the mind,
Just like a mixture
That mixes to find
A new identity,
A cause once thought lost -
The tables turned
And the Jordan crossed.

That pain imposed on the flower was great,
But greatness was worth the immeasurable drain,
And painful thoughts paved the way
For resplendent riches on the final day.
Not only that, but daily gain,
A life renewed, newly saved -
Not saved from hell but from hell’s subtle grip,
A grip on the mind, a grip on the neck,
Thoughts so logical, thoughts seemingly true,
But only excuses why not to pursue
The perfection held by the Gardener’s pure hands,
A love sincere, love without demands,
Unexpected turns, unforeseeable plans,
All told, and retold
(O unhearing ears!)
All told, and retold,
Until finally,
The flower heard
And learned to be bold.

Do not despise failures,
For they are the seeds of change.

February 5th, 2011 – The Day Life Made Sense

Coming to your wit’s end is a terrible thing. But terror doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. I have grown up as one who values logic and reasoning. And I still do. Right now I am involved in a philosphy class which is really cool, learning about Socrates and Plato and Epicurus and all these philosophical people. But I learned something recently: (I’ve had hints of this thought throughout my life, but something about last night and today really made it click.) You don’t have to have logic for everything.

Now, some people are wired for logic, and they may think I’m insane (and they would be right). I love logic, too, but I have found out that I am not wired to use logic in every area of my life. I’ve tried – for a good 90% or so of my life – and it has done nothing but cause me pain and hinder blessings from other people. See, the way my brain works is I have a free-spirited side and a logical side. I’ll conjure up some idea and I’ll either A) act on it (my free-spirited side), or B) think about it (my logical side). The free-spirited part of my brain wants to step out into adventure and do whatever “feels right” as if by some innate sixth sense. But the logical part of my brain wants to dissect each thought and think about it sideways and backwards and upside-down to work all the kinks out of it – to make sure there are no sharks before I step in the water.

In the past, the logical part of my brain would practically always win – it’s just the way I was. I figured I might as well be certain about things before I do them. After all, what was the harm in that? Surely it could only make me more certain to success, right? But what would happen is logic would never lead me to do good things; it would only rationalize my ill behavior. It would tell me how ridiculous and impossible my good thoughts were and how comfortable and blessed it was to reamin in the status quo – to stay inside my head. I never fully noticed this until essentially today and last night, though it has certainly also been a gradual awakening. I realized I was falling prey to the devil’s trap for me (or it might as well have been!) – the demon of logic.

Now I must stop and pause. I don’t at all mean to say that you can master your life by thinking or not thinking, for through this all it has been God’s hand at work in me. This time in my life has had the most Bible-reading and prayer than any other time in my life, I would dare say. I don’t mean that to say that I am anything but that God has been my everything; that in my weakness He has made me strong. Now I’ve heard that a million times, and a million times it has seemed to fail me. But all I can say is that God will make things clear to you, if you seek after Him with everything you’ve got – above family, above friends, above self, above money, above power, above fame, above all.

As Matthew 5:6 says, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.” And Matthew 10:37-39, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” We’ve got to be willing to give up everything for the great pursuit of knowing Jesus Christ! For in giving up everything, we will find that we have more than we ever could have dreamed to have before.

And I have many more thoughts that have been sustaining me. To that storehouse of thoughts God continually adds new treasures of wisdom and reminds me of old gems. But I cannot speak of everything. In passing, though, don’t be afraid to become invested in God – with your time, with your emotions, with your body. Think about these things. Rejoice in God. Don’t confine yourself to rejoicing only internally, but if God has truly made you happy as the things of this life can make you happy (the sight of an old friend, a pay-raise in your job, a kind word, a triumph in a sport or game, etc.) – if you are really happy and joyous because of God, you might as well show it: let a smile light upon your face, let a kind word be spoken to a friend (or an enemy), let your thoughts be of triumphal delight and victory in Christ. Let your hands raise in praise to our God, let your knees bow before His awesome presense.

I do not say these things as a command, but as a frightening (yet possibly freeing) suggestion. For our minds and our bodies are more closely connected than we may like to think. I have thought in the past that if things aren’t logical, like emotions or feelings, then they have no part (or at most but a carefully monitored part) in my life. Yet not everyone can live that way, for God has shaped us all differently, and I am such a one – one of the free-spirited ones. Give me logic and I will thank you, but when it comes to living out my life, sometimes you don’t have to know the ins and outs of why you feel as you feel or why you think as you think. There are the thinkers, and there are the dancers. The thinkers work out their plans and with caution plan each step, and somehow beyond my understanding they do so with great success. But the dancers think and move and breathe in tune with some mystical gut feeling beyond what they can logically discern, and logical discernment in the heat of the moment will only mess up their flow and stifle their lives. I love deep thinking, but when it comes to living out my life…

I am a dancer.

So it is that today is February 5th, 2011, the day life made sense.

A Bloody Discourse

Oh God, where are the poems of my heart?
Where the life-flow streaming out of my arteries from my core
Like the teeming rivers branching from one central source,
Rushing over rocks and logs to the distant, infinite shore?
How I wish I knew how to speak of You more!

Each song is a blood cell.
It carries with it my life.
It tells of my identity.
It cheers my night.
It swims through the vast plasma veins,
Running through tunnels like a torrential rain
Yet suddenly halts when it encounters a foe,
A blistery barrier, bludgeoning all who would go.
A fierce resistance.
What of this?
It’s a fear of being heard,
A doubt of what is seen,
A paralyzing bird,
A haunting, hellish dream.

And keenly, keenly,
It gainsayingly says sayings,
Saying that suffering suffers
An underestimated weight of pain:

“For pain is fierce, of course!
And much to be dread!
It’ll knock you down,
Sweep you up,
Bash you ’round
And fill your cup
With sorrows inexplainable in the longest discourse,
Leaving you to summon your mates to bury you dead.
And that much before your time should come!”

Oh to be undone!
To be ridden of the wrappings that tie my heart in knots!
To be steadily certain of every whimsical thing that passes by my soul!
That cell of a song would be fit to run free,
No trappings present, no passageways squeezed.
My thoughts would pour now
Like beads spilling out
From a furiously overturned bowl.
What a goal!
To know,
To surely know
That all is well with the world;
That all is well with my soul.

Where again are the streaming songs,
Pouring in overflow to know Your name?
They are flowing, ever flowing,
Flowing from a Heaven-winded vein;
Flowing because of my infused identity -
You in me.
Your heart was transplanted into mine;
Ever residing in my being, You’re the source of my life.
As a painter’s painting painted with colors unbought,
But rather given to him by another,
So are my songs to You.
You provided the paints, now my work is wrought
For my mysterious Lover
Your love that came to me much like mine goes out from You,
A song of blood,
A poem of love,
Unrestrained, heart-sent.
What will we do?